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How Not to Write Your College Essay: 3 Takeaways from a $30M App Developer’s Rejection
High school senior Zach Yadegari seemed to have it all: a perfect 4.0 GPA, a 34 ACT score, and a tech startup – Cal AI, a calorie-tracking app with over 5 million downloads and annual revenues of $30 million.
And yet, he was rejected by 15 out of the 18 prestigious colleges he applied to.
The rejections shocked many when Yadegari shared his story on social media, where it garnered over 27 million views. While his entrepreneurial journey was remarkable, his college application essay became his Achilles’ heel.
Despite his impressive profile, Yadegari’s essay was riddled with punctuation mistakes, incorrect word choices, and a tone that seemed to dismiss the value of college altogether. This highlights just how crucial a well-written personal statement is in the admissions process, no matter how extraordinary the rest of your profile may be.
Zach Yadegari: 18 years old ,34 ACT ,4.0 GPA ,$30M
What Not to Say in a College Essay?
In his essay, Yadegari reflected on his earlier skepticism toward formal education before realizing its value. Though he wrote, “individuality and connection are not opposites, but complements”. The overall tone seemed to send the opposite message to admissions officers.
Here are some key missteps from his essay:
- Proofreading errors, such as using “right of passage” instead of “rite of passage”.
- Excessive use of em dashes.
- A condescending tone, as seen in lines like: “Investors were constantly trying to throw money at us (which we rejected)”.
- Irregular punctuation, including the multiple dots (“…..”) instead of proper ellipses.
- Labeling himself as “the archetypal dropout founder”, which could imply an intent to leave college early again.
Built a $30M App at 18—Still Got Rejected by 15 Colleges
3 Key Takeaways for Writing a Personal Statement
❌Don’t Sound Too Full of Yourself
It’s great to be proud of what you’ve done, but keep it real. Lines like “investors were throwing money at us” might sound more braggy than impressive.
❌Don’t Ignore the Basics
Spelling and grammar count. A few small mistakes won’t ruin things, but lots of them can hurt your chances of admissions.
❌Don’t Write It Alone
It’s easy to miss things in your own writing. Ask a teacher, friend, or parent to read your essay. Fresh eyes can help catch mistakes and tell you if your message is clear.
Simple Ways to Make Your College Essay Better
Here are some valuable insights for crafting effective college essays:
✔️Balance confidence with humility.
Showcase achievements without appearing dismissive of what higher education can offer you.
✔️Demonstrate commitment.
Colleges invest in students they believe will graduate. Express genuine interest in the academic experience, not just networking opportunities.
✔️Think about who’s reading your essay.
Even if you have achieved big, colleges also want to see how you’ve helped others and what kind of person you are. They also want to know if you’re kind, helpful, and ready to grow. So, talk about those things too.
✔️Seek honest feedback.
Have multiple readers review your essay to catch not only grammatical errors but also issues with tone and messaging.
Final Takeaways
Remember, your college essay is not just about listing achievements; it’s about telling your story and demonstrating a genuine interest in higher education. Even a groundbreaking achievement needs to be presented thoughtfully in your study abroad application.
When writing your essay, focus on creating a compelling storyline and demonstrating your potential for experiential learning and innovation.
Take your time. Reflect deeply. Write with intention.
Good luck with your college applications!
